my story

I come from a little town called Horowhenua. I have nine sisters and four brothers, which is wonderful having such a large family. I have a god daughter called Zara. And yeah, and I do my mahi raranga.  Kia ora.

Depression can be a cold place, especially with my depression, I slept.  I would get up, have a drink, have something to eat and go back to bed and sleep. That way I didn’t face the world, I had to face nobody. I thought I was safe in my bunker. It was a very lonely place. 

I’ve had a lot of things happen to me in my lifetime. The biggest one was a car accident, which took the best of my leg. I sat through depression with that, not playing sports anymore. Not being able to do things like a normal person could with their leg. I used to be a good sportsman, until my accident, that took away half of my life.

When I had my anxiety attacks I used alcohol as a shield. People didn’t bother me.  Wherever I went I was invincible. I thought I was invincible. The more I drank, the more stronger I thought I was getting. In actual fact the more idiotic I became. Giving up the alcohol I thought would be really hard for me. I’ve been drinking since the age of thirteen, I’m now forty seven. 

I gave up drugs ten years ago. I used to smoke marijuana quite heavily thinking, I’ll have a puff and that will get rid of the anxiety and everything else. All it did was put a blindfold over my eyes. And since then, I’ve been going straight. Life has been wonderful for me.

my way through

I went to a GP and asked about how can I better myself or come out of this depression. And she referred me to a psychologist, which I’m very thankful for.  Honestly I am so thankful I’ve got my life back on board. It’s out there now, I’m out there.
 
I take an anti-depressant, since I’ve been through my psychology treatment, it’s calmed me down tremendously. I mean, before I was taking anti-depressants I was a hyperactive, move about person, going nowhere. But since I’ve been taking my anti-depressant, it has kept me stable, kept me on an even keel. 

A stable diet is a must and exercise. I recommend walking, which I can do and because I have pins and screws in my ankle, but walking and swimming for me, does me. Daily exercise, it has to be daily. It gets me out and about and out of the house. Yeah, and exercise is just a great way to start the day. 

staying well

Well, to see a smile on people’s faces when they see me, and they stand back and go whoa, Av, you know, you're charming. Oh you know, they just say, “Wow, just listen to you.  You're just out there”. 

Before I was so negative; even the sun would make me negative, you know, a beautiful day would make me negative. But they just look at me, I’m glowing for them. It’s just a smile, a smile of success; it’s a smile of happiness, honestly.

Believe in yourself, believe in yourself, love yourself and love who you are, because at the end of the rainbow, you can be as happy as anyone else. Just believe in yourself.