JK: Hi it’s JK here and I’m here with Matt. So Matt, tell me a little about yourself and your background.
Matt: Home for me is Ashburton, I come from an intensive cropping background. Cropping has been a large part of my life.
JK: So tell me about your journey with depression.
Matt: It all started when I was a young fella about 15 or so, I lost a good mate to cancer and I didn’t realise it at the time but I was starting a downward trend then.
JK: Tell me what some of the triggers were for you.
Matt: Probably the harvest was the biggest one, it was big hours in the combine and tractors and just the stress of it all- it was pretty tough really. The self-doubt was the biggest one. The, "I’m not doing good enough, I’m not doing a good enough job."
JK: And how did that emotion come out in you?
Matt: It didn’t, and that was the biggest problem really, I kept it inside and I just kept holding it in, holding it in and it spiraled down hill and I felt very responsible for dragging other people down. And that, of course, dragged me down even more.
JK: So what was the turning point then?
Matt: Probably my cousin, he gave me that kick, that shove that I needed to talk to a professional person and I went and talked to a counsellor and that was my turning point then.
JK: And so what were some of the things that you did to turn this around?
Matt: First thing the counsellor suggested was to get on some medication to help balance my mood- I was pretty dead set against it. I was probably like the old macho man, I didn’t want, didn’t need this pill to sort me out. So I gave in, I gave it a try, and then yeah, it started coming right. The balance in my mood was there; I was in control.
JK: So once you started getting the balance back, what were some of the things you did?
Matt: I was enjoying life. I took the time to enjoy myself. I was out doing stuff in my spare time with the boys. It wasn’t so much I think that actual doing of that stuff, it was the doing it with somebody. Hope for the future was something that started to take shape to more of a physical form so I started to realise what I was working towards and what I was trying to achieve by getting up every day.
I enjoyed being on the farm, I enjoyed the smell of the wet grass under the irrigator as I went out to shift it. And I just had to just pause and look around and realise where I was. That made me start appreciating how lucky I was to be in the environment that I was in.
JK: So what would you say to a young farmer like yourself that might be watching us and struggling?
Matt: Talk to your mates. You might be terrified about what they going to say but if they’re your mates, they’ll be there for ya. Generally they are there for you; they’ll pull you through.
JK: Thanks, Matt. That was an incredible insight to your journey with depression from someone in the farming community. What we have got with The Journal is we’ve got a really simple, practical way that you can get through some of your problems. So check The Journal out.
I lost a good mate to cancer
I didn’t realise it at the time but I was starting a downward trend then. Big hours in the combine and tractors and just the stress of it. The self-doubt was the biggest one. The "I’m not doing good enough, I’m not doing a good enough job."
All sorts of things affect your mental health
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I kept it inside and I just kept holding it in
That was the biggest problem really. I felt very responsible for dragging other people down. And that, of course, dragged me down even more.
Depression or anxiety is different for everyone
LEARN ALL THE SIGNSMy cousin gave me that shove that I needed to talk
I went and talked to a counsellor and that was my turning point then. First thing the counsellor suggested was to get on some medication to help balance my mood – so I was in control.
There are things that can help you get through
SEE THEM ALL

I take the time to enjoy myself
I’m out doing stuff in my spare time with the boys. It wasn’t so much I think that actual doing of that stuff, it was the doing it with somebody. You might be terrified about what they are going to say but if they’re your mates, they’ll be there for you.